Married Dating – Is it healthy?

Married dating has become a media focus within recent years as growing statistics show that extra marital relations have become increasingly commonplace. Married dating is in many ways a synonym for an extra marital affair but it does not necessarily have to be the case; as there are married couples who consensually engage in extra marital relations with the full knowledge of their other half. Married dating can occur when both people involved are married or when one is and the other is not but the key questions revolve around whether it is an acceptable or even healthy practice.

The problem is that it’s very hard to judge whether it is healthy or unhealthy, morally acceptable or morally reprehensible. The media has jumped on the bandwagon with their, as usual, politicised viewpoints; with many claiming it is morally reprehensible whilst a few claim that it is acceptable under certain circumstances. Before looking at this debate it is worth looking at some of the statistics that reveal the extent and causes of married dating.
The percentage of marriages that end in divorce currently stands at just over 50%.
The percentage of marriages where one or more partner admits to infidelity stands at just over 40%.
The percentage of men and women who admit to having been unfaithful at one time or another stands at around 55%.
Over half of Males older than 56 consider a sexless marriage grounds for infidelity.
The average length of an affair is 2 years though 65% of affairs end within the first six months.
90% of individuals who have an online affair become addicted to them and will have another as soon as one ends.
These figures show that infidelity has become, or at least is now more evident as, a serious part of human relationships. With such revealing statistics we need to ask ourselves whether married dating is a case of moral laxity or simply part of human nature. The statistics show that it is actually a fairly common practice amongst many of us and so it appears that it might be simply part of who we (as a species) are.

However, whether it is healthy seems to be an entirely different question. Many of us will be firmly in the no camp on this whilst many of us may have a more liberal view. It is beyond question that infidelity causes emotional turmoil and harm for relationships and that it can be a very painful experience for those who suffer the effects. In this sense then it may be considered morally reprehensible. However, before anyone rushes to judge we should also look at the reasons behind this form of infidelity. Married dating often arises out of “loveless” marriages or as a result of emotional, physical and mental issues that can arise in a variety of ways. Stress, anxiety, frustration and even boredom are powerful driving forces in human behaviour. The reasons behind married dating and extra marital relationships are much more complex than a black and white outsiders perspective would care to admit. So at this stage it is hard to understand whether married dating is or can be healthy but we need to understand that at the base line communication between couples must be essential to remaining happy.